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[07 Mar 2005|11:33am]
[ mood | restless ]

Well I am home.

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[28 Feb 2005|11:22am]
Well being a political figure head on the run so to speak is harder than I thought. People keep identifying me. And I am not having any fun. I wish my friends were here. I wish I still had friends. I know I do but I havn't kept up with them, I have been so busy. I don't even know where anyone lives now. I can't even be a rebellious teenager correctly. Maybe I'll go read at the park. The hotel manager says the circus is scheduled to visit this colony next week. I wounder if it is Trowa's circus. Well I will probably have returned home before they arrive.
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An Excape [23 Feb 2005|11:19am]
[ mood | naughty ]

I am growing tried of everyone coming to me with the problems the war has caused. I want to help but I will not fix everything, I can not. The people need to think for them selves. I know first I complain that the others don't think I can handle anything. Then I complain they give me too much. I want a balance. To be equal, not above or below.

I can't take this any more I need a break. So last night I packed my bag, wrote a note and left. I am now on a shuttle headed for space. I am not even sure where I just took the 1st one available. (Heero will be so mad to know I took off alone.) I do not know what I will do when I et to space but I know the counselors need to learn I can not do thier jobs and mine. Maybe this will teach them.

I want a life and maybe a weekend. There is no joy in rebuilding a war tore world if you can't stop and smell the roses. Everything does not need to be done as once.

I know it is wrong to leave but I had to. Yesterday was look out the window at a young couple out on a date. I also saw children playing in the park. I gruop of teenagers laughing together. And I was mad. I miss the out doors, horse back riding, swimming. I am just 17. As glad as I am that those people can have a normal because of something I did. I am still jealous of them. Reading everyone's journals about all the things you are doing, while all I do in meetings and paper work. It made me sad and lonely.

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[04 Feb 2005|08:26am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Just because I want him happy doesn't make the pain go away. Being trapped in my office I realize just how alone I am.

Oh and thanks Quatre the reporters were just here and I was prepared.

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[26 Jan 2005|10:41am]
[ mood | complacent ]

Well I have almost completely forgot about this journal. Quatre reminded me of it during a quick phone the other day to warn me of some reporters who might be heading my way. Life has been busy. With my announcement of the disarmament program I was finally able to prove to my coworkers that I am not just a figure head, however now their trust is a good and bad thing. On top of managing that project I have also taken on a Mars Formation project, head by my brother. Not to mention all the issues and work that goes into cleaning up form MarieMaia and Dekim. As for my personal life well I really don't have one, not since the separation with Heero. I miss him yet I know he does belong with me. That is all I am planning to saying on the matter.

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My own person [05 Dec 2004|10:18pm]
[ mood | determined ]

I have made a decision to stand on my own. I no longer need to lead on Heero or my father. I am proposing a complete disarmament project. I hope the people and my friends can support me. But support or not I will follow through in my action because I am going to follow my heart and not the will of anyone. I will be a puppet no more.

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Heero [27 Nov 2004|01:30pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Heero I once again find myself thanking you saved me. Because of you I am abe to believe in my self and know that you will be with me in all that I do. Changes need to be made and no matter what happens I know that our feelings for each other will alway be that same.

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[18 Nov 2004|01:06pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Well the day of the 1st colony conference approaches. I'm be assigned my own assistant; another person obsessed with pleasing me. I don't think Heero will be with me when I leave for the 1st colony. That saddens me because I am really enjoying his company. I forgot what it was like to relax.

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[03 Nov 2004|06:02pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Well I am all packed. Here goes nothing. Months of work and it all comes down to this. I'm not due at the first colony for a week but Heero thought I had a nice little vacation before I start to stress again. We are taking a trip together and then I am off to set my proposal in motion. Hope all is well.

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[19 Oct 2004|10:04am]
[ mood | distressed ]

I just got back form a bad meeting and locked my self in my room. I'm second guessing decisions I have made. Have I just been wasting my time on a unattainable dream? Do you think people could live with out weapons or is the blood soaked hands of a solider too idol to leave his gun behind?

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[11 Oct 2004|06:02pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I'm not sure if the days are flying by or slowly crawling. Either way I just realized it is Monday the 11th! My dead line is coming closer and closer. I didn't even know night had fallen until the morning when the maid came to make the bed that I didn't sleep in. I spend the whole night typing away at my computer, answering on problem after the other. I would be working now but Heero has stolen my papers and refuses to let me have then back until I have slept. But I find that I have too much running through my mind to sleep. Well I guess laying down won't hurt.

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[04 Oct 2004|05:48pm]
Well how is everyone doing? I how you are well. This really is the 1st time I have to my self. I am working so much these days; I have not had the time to check on your journals. Well I would like to talk more but I just got an important phone call I must take. Until next time.
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[30 Sep 2004|11:22am]
This had been a weekend of meeting. 1st I met with Quatre to discuss some of my future plans. Then as you all know by now there was the riot in the colony and I was called away, to that meet. One of the major problem I keep coming across is that people are so use to the way things were and are to even think of change. I wrong as it may sound I do really enjoy surprising my fellow politicians, by actually having something intelligent to say.

Well after such a busy weekend I am glad to be home. Unfortunately I now have more work than ever. Heero keeps telling me to relax. I wish I could, but I feel as like with every step I take I have to take two steps backwards. I have wasted too much time already by posting this. Back to endless amounts of meeting and drowning in a sea of paper work. If it wasn't for my wish for peace and lack of ability to just stand by I would wish I was just a figure head. Life would be so much less hectic.
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[24 Sep 2004|06:20pm]
Well I am going to see Quatre this weekend.
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[20 Sep 2004|05:23pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Well another usual day at the office. I grew tired of listening to the rambling of old men so I retired early so I could work on proposal. Heero talked me in to actually working outside. It was such a nice day I am glad he made me do it.

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[16 Sep 2004|08:43am]
[ mood | content ]

The other day I went on a date with Heero. Now I must admit it was my 1st non business date. I really enjoyed my self. I forgot how nice it is to just get away. We went to a little park where we could be way from others, it was nice just the two of us. As childish as it sounds, I hope he asks me out again.

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[10 Sep 2004|07:04am]
[ mood | calm ]

Heero now works for my security, I enjoy having him. It is nice to have someone to have lunch with and have it not be a business lunch. Working is more enjoyable when you have a reason you take a break.

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[30 Aug 2004|07:28am]
[ mood | calm ]

Heero is currently staying with. How long he is going to be here I don't know. I'm just glad he is here.

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A lonely life. [26 Aug 2004|09:54am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Wow long time no see. I'm to sick of only being around politicians and guards. I miss normal everyday, about the weather or a new dress. I don't regret my political ambitions I just wish, that wasn't all my life, like it is now. I wish i could be close to my friends, to Heero.

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The busy life. [02 Aug 2004|04:40pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Life is so busy. I am working all day, in to night. Going to meetings. Reviewing, rewriting, over and over again. And if that was nat wearying me thin, I am never left alone. I have to have 2-3 body grauds with me at all times. I wish everyone would stop worring about me getting assassinated. Well back to my proposal.

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